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About Literature / Hobbyist Layne CallanFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Literature
A letter I could Never send
I could try to put it all in words, to say what it feels like. But it would sound so cheesey, so cliché, that I won't even try. At least not out loud.
You make me happy like I've never been happy before. You make me smile even when I don't want to or don't think I can. You make the sun shine when my day has been full of clouds. You captivate me when you smile and sometimes I can't help but to stare. My darkest darks are misery, yours are tragedy. It makes me want to cry. You alone have the power to make me regret my scars. I want to hide them from you forever so they will never make you sad. Even though I'm clueless as to what your reaction might be. I thought I had loved before. I thought I was in love before. But never in my life have I felt something run this deep. I only have one word for it. Or I can only think of one. I don't ever want you to leave because my heart aches when you're not here. I don't want you to know because to me that sounds so childish. I miss you. You mak
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
Ninth Letter
Dear lover,
This was the ninth letter. It came on the one year anniversary of the first. I was now a regular at the coffee shop. I had tried everything on the menu but the hot chocolate was still my favorite. This letter I read while sitting at my favorite table by the window. As I sat, reading about the opera in Sydney, Australia, the handsome waiter sat down across from me and asked what I was reading. I clutched the letter to my chest. It was my secret, my previously private indulgence that only my sister and I knew about. But his face was kind and he did not push. So I showed him. His eyes smiled as he lost himself in the mystery of Australia, much as I had just a moment ago.
When he had reached the end of the letter he looked up at me with a grin and asked me if I wanted to go. I jumped to say yes. He then explained his invitation, he had family in Sydney and would love if I would come with him to visit them. Just for a week. We would go to the opera house ourselves and see a perf
:iconLaynesSecret:LaynesSecret
:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
How to tell if you're in love
You know you're in love when every time you walk away you look back.
Because you can't stand to be apart.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Mature content
I Could Do It :iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
My Own Poison
Abandon me. Go ahead, give up on me and leave me to die.
Because you can't stand it.
Because you don't know what to do.
Because you think I'm selfish.
Because you think I'm crazy.
I lost myself. And you gave up on me.
Because I'm destroying myself...
and I like it.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
The Woman I Seek
There's this woman.
She stands tall and elegant in a gown of white. The air around her sparkles and shines. The light around her comes from her. She is graceful. She is beautiful. She takes my breath away.
I reach for her but I recoil when I see my own hands. They're dark and dirty. It seems like they are absorbing all light, as if my hands were black holes. They're covered in scars and dried blood that flakes away as I open and close my fingers...they won't open all the way. It hurts too much.
I look up and see her again, the woman. And I scream. My voice is broken and my lungs burn. Still she does not see me. I want her. I need her. I need her to love me, to wipe away the dirt and the blood. To heal the scars, to heal my lungs. To fix me. To save me. To love me.
So I scream and I cry and I reach for her through the darkness. My lungs ache, my scars bleed again, my sight grows dim but I do not stop. She must see me, she has to. I want her. I need her. I need her to love me. To wipe aw
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
The girl I used to be
I miss the dark, strong girl I used to be. She was beautiful and brave and never afraid. I can feel her. As all of my friends are crying out for hope I can feel her rising to the surface. Shes shoving back the crazy confused girl and taking over, stretching her grasp to touch the lost ones, comforting them. She's chipping away at the fake girl and it feels good. She's released the soothing darkness and the calm. She's rescuing me.
I miss being brave. I miss the world telling me all of it's dark secrets.
I'm going to release that dark, strong girl and give her back the life that she lived so well.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 2 0
Literature
I Used to Know this Girl
I used to know this girl. She was brave and strong and never gave up. She would sacrifice everything for the ones she loved. But she was never loved the way she wanted to be. Or needed to be.
But she was brave and strong and never gave up. She used to keep all of her secrets to herself, and kept everyone else's close to her heart. Everyone trusted her but she didn't feel like she could trust anyone. She wore the weight of everyone else's world on her shoulders. And she liked it that way. It was what she'd done all her life and what she was used to. She knew that life... But her world began to change. The weight of all of the other worlds began to crush her. She buckled under the weight until she was on her knees. Then until she was on the ground. And she began to lose her mind.
She came crying to me time and time again and I tried to save her. I kissed the marks on her arms and I held her close. But I couldn't save her. She was losing herself.
I watched her sink deeper, pulled down int
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 2 1
Literature
I don't love you
Is it ok to say it?
To finally face reality and admit it?
Is it truly the time to face myself and give in to defeat?
I really need to say it.
I know that I won't be able to move on if I don't.
But it's so hard to say,
the words are so far away,
it's impossible, but today
I don't love you.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
So There Was My Heart
So there was my heart, broken and shattered on the floor. You found it there and without a second thought you picked it up and pieced it back together. I cried at the pain when it started beating again. You cradled it in your hands and it grew warm. You pulled me into your arms and I was home.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 1 0
Literature
I Am...
...Standing on the rooftop reaching for the stars I can never touch.
...Watching time crawl by in the last half hour before I'm free.
...Waiting for the time to come when I get to go home.
...Realizing that home is where you are and it's too far away.
...Holding my breath til I can see you again and be in your arms.
...Feeling lonely and cold without the sound of your heart beat.
...Running out of patience and calm as the storm approaches.
...Becoming marginally more scared and anxious every minute.
...Bouncing on my toes with the energy and anxiety of the need to leave.
...Listening to the echoes of memories of us in my head.
...Wishing I could think about anything else.
...Wanting to be by your side forever and a day.
...Standing on the rooftop reaching for stars I can never touch.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 1 0
Mature content
A different kind of Painting :iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
What makes me sad?
When I'm silent for a day and he doesn't call to ask why.
When I want to retrace my scars for fear and pain and he doesn't know.
When he says that he cares but it doesn't feel like it.
When he doesn't care.
When I feel like the relationship is only half of one.
When I feel like crying and he's the furthest one from me.
When I don't feel like he really loves me and he doesn't say it.
When I need him and he's silent.
When he's apathetic.
When I realize that he's always apathetic.
When I think about finding someone else.
When I realize that there is no one else.
He's the only one I want, but I still don't feel like I have him.
He's the only one I will love, but sometimes I don't feel like he loves me.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 1 0
Literature
From here on out...
...it's all broken wings and angels.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
An Impossible Amount
An impossible amount of, 'oh I'm sorry, you know I'm there for you, right?'
No, I don't...because when I was sobbing on the floor, body wracked with the pain that radiated out from my shattering heart you were no where to be seen. Again.
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:iconlaynessecret:LaynesSecret 0 0
Literature
Don't Let Go Of My Dreams
Let's take a trip down the rabbit hole to a world where the sky is purple instead of blue, and the clouds rains diamonds that disappear like mist when the touch the ground. Here the trees dance in the sun and cry when it rains and the wind is always full of music. Well? I'm waiting. Are you there yet? Can you hear the bells chiming in the breeze? Can you see the old oak swinging his branches and playing with the birds? Can you hear the sun laughing at the silly antics of the new clouds first learning to fly? Are you here yet? Can you feel my hand in yours? Will you help me dream so my dreams aren't the only thing holding this fragile world together? Can you see me now? The way I'm supposed to be seen, through my dreams?
Oh no, the old oak tree has stopped frolicking with the wind…all the creatures have gone away to hide and the clouds are starting to look angry. We better find some cover because it looks like it's going to rain. Can you dream us up some shelter? Or is the pressure
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Favourites

Somewhere by azuzephre Somewhere :iconazuzephre:azuzephre 601 14
Mature content
To Fade :iconnostrovelle:Nostrovelle 2 0
Mature content
My Arm Is A Road Map :iconnostrovelle:Nostrovelle 4 6
Literature
Peppermint And Pop Music
Peppermint and pop music
And sparkly purple nail polish
The sun and the rain
Sketches and poetry
Cats and collars
Horses and owls.
These things and more remind me of you
And keep you close, even when you are thousands of miles away
For all the oceans on earth can't darken my smile
When I think of your pretty face
My world falls away
And I sort of like it
Because I sort of like you.
One day, I might even tell you that.
:iconNostrovelle:Nostrovelle
:iconnostrovelle:Nostrovelle 2 3
Literature
Hearts On Her Skin
The first time she kissed me, I caught fire
Her rose-flavoured lips taste like Summer
She is sweet and alluring
Charming and tempting
My fingertips trace hearts on her skin
And she sighs, a soft and satisfied exhale
She leans her head on my shoulder
The scent of her hair fills my lungs
Her body is warm, comforting
I dance my hand down her spine
She purrs in the back of her throat
As her breathing becomes slow and even
And she falls asleep in my arms
She stands out on the black silk of the sheets
In a contrast of night and day
A perfect porcelain princess
Made of china and bone.
:iconNostrovelle:Nostrovelle
:iconnostrovelle:Nostrovelle 2 2
Mature content
Bad Girl :iconnostrovelle:Nostrovelle 1 2
Equestrian girls by Rose0fMay Equestrian girls :iconrose0fmay:Rose0fMay 354 42 LoZ OOT Young Link - toy by Championx91 LoZ OOT Young Link - toy :iconchampionx91:Championx91 3,346 328 sunstone issue 2 cover b by shiniez
Mature content
sunstone issue 2 cover b :iconshiniez:shiniez 2,738 155
Literature
My Eyes, Your Mirror
What do you see when you look at me?
My eyes, your mirror.
Can you cope with your reflection?
I listen as your lies hurt those closest to you.
Flames of deceit, burning, blazing.
Is your soul as empty as your words?
The things you’ve said and done
Weave a patchwork of the person you are.
Have you run out of thread?
The toxic miasma of your own mind suffocates you
Drowning, choking on your own thoughts and dreams
Do you remember how to breathe?
You used to walk with me
Yet now, you choose to walk alone, instead.
Are you sure that you remember your way?
The flame of your life’s candle flickers
It sputters and dims in the wake of your past
Do you have a reason to keep it alight?
:iconNostrovelle:Nostrovelle
:iconnostrovelle:Nostrovelle 11 8
Lie: Music Video by Mikeinel Lie: Music Video :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 4,228 349 Moon Ligth Kitty by Nano006 Moon Ligth Kitty :iconnano006:Nano006 5 2 Clifford the big red dog by sandara Clifford the big red dog :iconsandara:sandara 14,431 1,220
Literature
074
i wish i could tell you that i need you to save me
from the images that grow like saplings of oak trees
within the cavities of my mind; the empty spaces
that gave birth to questions for which i have no
answer
sometimes i write these poems
without knowing what i am trying to say
but then i realise that i don't even have anything to say
because i don't know what to feel anymore
and in the corner of a dark room,
the quiet side of the silence,
darkness falls upon me; a cloud across the moon
                        and oh how endlessly i fall
:iconrachel-rhapsody:rachel-rhapsody
:iconrachel-rhapsody:rachel-rhapsody 25 7
Literature
cotton-heart suicide
her name was lily and she told me that she spent her nights sewing new hearts for herself.
she told me that she made them out of silk and cotton. she said that they were beautiful reds and deep scarlets, sewn together with thin white thread.
every night, hunched over her sewing machine, she would recreate her heart, hoping that one day she'd make one that would beat.
-
she told me that she kept butterflies on necklaces because she was too afraid that they would fly away. she'd keep them on silver chains around her neck; dangling close to her heart.
she said that if she could, she would tie them to her hips or nail their colours to her wall.
when i asked her why she didn't want them to fly away, she said that they reminded her of me.
that on her necklaces, their paper-thin wings beat.
that when she held them close to her cotton-hearts, she could feel something;
something beautiful.
-
she tells me one afternoon on the way home with sad eyes, that she loves me. she tells me to never, ever
:iconrachel-rhapsody:rachel-rhapsody
:iconrachel-rhapsody:rachel-rhapsody 227 149
Literature
sad people
"Do you ever get scared?" Ephemeral silence followed as her fingers twisted themselves into mine. Like the vine that grips to iron fences and stucco houses.
"All of the time." I said it and I meant it but words lose their meaning sometimes when they come out of my mouth. I wish I could have said something wittier, but the thing is, I can't even think of anything right now, from where I sit. That's just how I am.
And the only thing I could think about is if souls could be made into pictures, I wondered what mine would look like. And I really wondered what hers would, too. Hers was more important. I think it would have been beautiful. Not bright-smiles and pretty-eyes beautiful. It's more a staying up until four in the morning and feeling that you are alive and happy and insane all at once kind of beautiful.
"People scare me. Sad people." She took in a deep breath, pulling in the whole world with it. Trees, people, mailboxes, everything. And then she just let go.
"How?" Is the question I
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:iconfrayedheartstring:FrayedHeartString 16 16

Activity


I could try to put it all in words, to say what it feels like. But it would sound so cheesey, so cliché, that I won't even try. At least not out loud.

You make me happy like I've never been happy before. You make me smile even when I don't want to or don't think I can. You make the sun shine when my day has been full of clouds. You captivate me when you smile and sometimes I can't help but to stare. My darkest darks are misery, yours are tragedy. It makes me want to cry. You alone have the power to make me regret my scars. I want to hide them from you forever so they will never make you sad. Even though I'm clueless as to what your reaction might be. I thought I had loved before. I thought I was in love before. But never in my life have I felt something run this deep. I only have one word for it. Or I can only think of one. I don't ever want you to leave because my heart aches when you're not here. I don't want you to know because to me that sounds so childish. I miss you. You make my world make sense. You make my life have purpose. You give my insanity reason. You're all I eve wanted. You're more than I could eve ask for. You are a dream come  true and I'm afraid to wake up. You knocked down all my walls without a second thought. Then wrapped your arms around me. It was then that I no longer felt broken. You make all the pain and sorrow from my past just not matter. I just don't care anymore.
My world finally feels real.
And I finally feel like me.
Because of you, I found myself.
I don't feel lost anymore.
A letter I could Never send
I wrote this for him a long time ago now. I wish I could have truly expressed how I felt. Maybe then he never would have left.
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Dear lover,
This was the ninth letter. It came on the one year anniversary of the first. I was now a regular at the coffee shop. I had tried everything on the menu but the hot chocolate was still my favorite. This letter I read while sitting at my favorite table by the window. As I sat, reading about the opera in Sydney, Australia, the handsome waiter sat down across from me and asked what I was reading. I clutched the letter to my chest. It was my secret, my previously private indulgence that only my sister and I knew about. But his face was kind and he did not push. So I showed him. His eyes smiled as he lost himself in the mystery of Australia, much as I had just a moment ago.
When he had reached the end of the letter he looked up at me with a grin and asked me if I wanted to go. I jumped to say yes. He then explained his invitation, he had family in Sydney and would love if I would come with him to visit them. Just for a week. We would go to the opera house ourselves and see a performance of the greats. I sat there with a grin as he talked about his family and his love of travel. After a while he returned to work. As I stood to leave, I started to fold the letter and return it to the pale envelope when a small slip of paper fell out that I had missed. The only words on the small piece were a simple command. "Follow your dreams"
It was then that I knew that I was headed in the right direction. I realized that he had intended this all along, with whatever magic he held that had made my world come to life. He had brought my dreams to reality.
Ninth Letter
The ninth letter in the series that I started early on. Look in my gallery for 1-8
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And I still love you.

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LaynesSecret
Layne Callan
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I'm someone who's done a lot of stupid crap over the years. I've trusted people who didn't deserve it. I've loved people who didn't return it. But I've also been trusted with things that I didn't deserve. I've also been loved when I didn't earn it. So I believe in second chances. And I don't believe in letting anyone have the power to ruin my life. I live for tomorrow and for the ones I love. Enough said :) Welcome to my world, where one step away from the edge isn't close enough.

Current Residence: East Coast USA
Favourite genre of music: Rock
Favourite style of art: Music/Literature
Operating System: Windows
MP3 player of choice: 80g Zune
Personal Quote: "Welcome to my world"
Interests

Comments


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:iconnostrovelle:
Nostrovelle Featured By Owner May 7, 2014
Thank you for the favourite <3
Reply
:iconmagicswordz:
magicswordz Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch :)
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:iconnostrovelle:
Nostrovelle Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
Thank you.
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:iconlakkus:
Lakkus Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Happy birthday dear <3
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:iconnostrovelle:
Nostrovelle Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011
Thank you!
Reply
:iconnostrovelle:
Nostrovelle Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011
Thank you, again!
Reply
:iconnostrovelle:
Nostrovelle Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2011
Thank you.
Reply
:iconkml91225:
kml91225 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favorite :]
Reply
:iconnostrovelle:
Nostrovelle Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2011
Thank you for the favourite - I appreciate it.
Reply
:iconkml91225:
kml91225 Featured By Owner May 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the favorite. Take a peek at my gallery you might like some other things. If you do I promise to write more so watch me :]
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